Healing is an inside job - Dr. Connie Jeon

Today’s post is inspired by my conversation with a colleague of mine.

We have weekly accountability calls with each other on important business tasks.

She’s a successful entrepreneur and is amazing at what she does but like most of us, begin to lose sight of what’s important because of ever growing “to do” lists.

With my personal struggles with time management, I’ve learned from my mentors in the past that it’s not about managing time as it is more about managing yourself.

Everyone has 24 hours in a given day, what you “choose” to do with it is 100% up to you.

I can tell from the tone of her voice that she was having one of those days, and with some nudging, she opened up to me about how overwhelmed she is with everything she’s doing.

That she’s almost feeling resentful to “men” (not wanting to call out the men in her life) that they can dismiss the “household chores” when at work.

That she’s been feeling under the weather for the last few days and can’t get herself to take a nap or even thing about a bath.

With my experience in treating women for so long, I understand the “guilt”  and “shame” that seem to run deep in each of us women.

I recently read a book, Radical Acceptance, where the author Tara Brach writes that at the root, we suffer from feelings of “unworthiness”.  That we tend to mask our feelings of unworthiness by doing more, getting more, and run ourselves to point of exhaustion to please everyone around us.

Suddenly when we reach the breaking point, then we realize the deep “void”.

Typically, I think we are successful and fooling ourselves until we reach middle age or later because our lives are busy.

Busy building careers, forming relationships, raising kids, and trying to fit everything in.

Once we reach the point where our kids start to leave us, our aging parents need care, then our “repressed” insecurities  begin to surface and everything seems to “trigger”.

In some of us, we become sad, mad, resentful, and exasperated at everyone and the circumstances that arise.

You try hard to repress and mask your true discontentment but it just keeps erupting.

Physiological symptoms begin to surface and you really don’t feel well.

I think that sometimes, we need to just “accept” our deep rooted unworthiness and examine and reflect on how and why you feel this way.

Repressing those emotions do very little to help our situation and we are so programmed to be agreeable.

Once you recognize those deep feelings we need to get to work.

Working on ourselves, it’s what most of us avoid but essential for our health.  Because the perpetuating self talk of unworthiness leads to self sabotage.

This is why the diets don’t work.  We negate our efforts and shoot them down….

“why bother, you’ll always be fat, you’re born fat, you’re too old, or who cares?”…..

Then as a form of self validation, you fall of the wagon until another “event” in your life triggers you to want to change and the cycle repeats.

Your inner voice is not who you want to be around, it tends to be self defeating and negative.  It likes to keep things just as they are and the moment you want to change it, it’ll knock your efforts down.

The only way you can overcome it?

Recognize it, face it, and do it anyway.  Self respect and love will grow and series of successes will provide you with the momentum you need to keep your eyes on the goal.  Whatever your goals may be.

Thanks for reading and leave comments below, would love to hear from you.

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