It’s Lupus month and it occurred to me that I’ve lived with Lupus as long as I’ve been in clinical practice.
This past weekend my two best friends for over 23 years came to visit from California and Nevada. We were reminiscing about our past over perfectly cooked filet, sautéed spinach, onions, mushroom and our favorite french wine. In that moment I was overcome with so much gratitude.
I was surrounded by my favorite people…the love of my life, my adorable kids, my friends, and great food. Most importantly, I was able to have my health to enjoy the wine and the food. Simple treasures of life.
My friends reminded me how the Lupus diagnosis “rocked” my world. I went from confident, happy, and positive to fearful, hopeless, and depressed. I remember I needed to be on Prozac, (the magic pill for depression and anxiety), to keep myself from driving my family and friends crazy.
16 years of living with Lupus, how SCARED I was….of the unknown….I felt damaged…not worthy……
I began as a compliant patient, sun proofing myself, taking all the pills that the doctor gave me….getting tested every three months. I was living in FEAR and ANXIETY.
Then I was introduced to another Lupus patient, a young woman, just 23 years old, had a cap on to hide her face due to “moon” face that you often get with high prednisone. She had diabetes due to long term prednisone use, and like me at the time, she was also depressed.
She told me she followed the “protocol” the doctors gave her for over 7 years. She had dropped out of school and was living at home with her parents, and her parents took care of her. She became dependent on other people.
She wanted to engage with me, befriend me….have woe is me conversations about our shared obstacle. I wanted to run from her…..because she “represented” what was ahead for me and it was clearly NOT what I wanted.
I became more scared and depressed….at the outlook of my life as a patient. That 23 year old woman was the “face” of Lupus…I didn’t like the possible outcome of my condition. I allowed myself only a few days this way…not getting out of bed, crying….., hopeless….SAD…woe is me thoughts played in my head over and over.
After a few days in the dark, I got busy…..I sought out the best herbal doctor, naturopath, and so began my journey to a better life…..better health, and making a contribution to help other patients like me in the dark, struggling, to let you know that there is a better way.
I’ve forgotten how treacherous the process can be for some of you that have come to see me recently, but I am ever more clear about the reason I am so passionately committed to helping you get you to where you need to go.
In the face of adversity, you can do one of two things…., you can succumb and go with the flow, or you can direct the path of your life by using the adversity to fuel your drive out of the dip.
I think life is this way……whether you are struggling with a failing relationship, losing your job, or a health scare…..you have a choice.
To drive through the dip and make it to the peak or stay in the valley of darkness and despair.
Now I understand that life is full of peaks and valleys…..its the journey one must embrace. If you are reading this I KNOW that you have so much to be thankful for in your life…..
The love of my life always reminds me….roof over your head, food on the table, your health….are all things to be thankful for. Simple things that we take for granted….
I PRAY for you today that you look around you….and find things to be thankful for….
If you’ve made it this far in this e-mail, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me your time to read my thoughts.
If you feel you need help to get started, please call 678-335-5566. I am here for you.